Why would a woman not leave a physically abusive relationship? Some often say it is not that easy, given a number of factors. Sadly, repeated domestic violence for most women hardly ends well.
So, why would a woman have the first or second instance of domestic violence and not just extricate herself from the situation? It is true that finance, kids, living arrangement, work, protection of the career, shame, and so forth are factors, but another deep factor in the situation is emotion.
Some women often have a serious emotional attachment to some partners, making them stay or accept the partner back. While it is true that affectionate emotions can be useful to forgive in several less serious aberrations, domestic violence of any measure is dangerous.
In trying to solve domestic violence, including the culmination in murder-suicide for some families, how can the emotional problems be isolated and starved?
What Exactly is Emotion in the Brain?
This question means that what is the difference, at least, between a memory and an emotion. If someone sees a chair, what is the difference between that chair [as a memory] and anger or hurt [as an emotion]?
Conceptually, every in-bound sensation to the brain goes for interpretation. This means that if a chair is seen, what results in making it known that it is a chair is an interpretation in memory. The same for words, touch, smell, tastes and others.
The memory [or configuration] it matches in the brain gives the result of what it is in reality. And for most humans, interpretations are mostly similar, where an automobile is an automobile, a cup is a cup, and so forth.
But emotions are often different for most people. The emotion of trauma may follow the interpretation of a sound, or the interpretation of an object, for some individuals, but not the same for others. Some people may feel love for a skill while others feel love for a machine, and on and on.
This also indicates that after an interpretation, many times, the relays in the brain proceed to find any [related] emotional destination, to follow it up with the experience. This, for example, can be said to be linked to survival. Say someone touches hot water, the interpretation of touch says hot, the emotion that follows gives unpleasant, and to quickly disengage [This opens a new sequence or path, becoming a fresh input into memory]. The same applies to doing something, and then someone yells furiously. It could proceed to the emotion of fear, becoming a follow-up destination.
Now, whenever hot water is seen, there is almost an early relay in the brain, for interpretation of what it is, then the emotion that followed the last time, and a relay to memory of do not touch because of the emotion the last time. The same for the situation that caused the yelling and so forth.
In simple terms, after the brain interprets anything in reality, there is sometimes a further relay. This further relay could be another memory, of what it looks [sounds, smells, or tastes] like, or the memory of what resulted after an emotional destination, or even some could end up at an emotional destination.
The question then is, what is the architecture of an emotion that makes it powerful enough to create a strong attachment [or aversion] to something? If memory is a basic interpretation and may mostly seem benign, why are emotions the grip that necessitates adjustments? Why are they dominant beyond [say] how a chair is seen in passing or a word is heard, but anger, hurt, love, or hate can arrest?
The Architecture of Emotions in the Brain
Conceptually, just like memory feeds into emotions, emotions also feed into memory. For example, after a hurtful experience because of touching hot water, it feeds into a memory of danger, or do not touch [as memory], so next time, even if the emotion is bypassed, it proceeds to that memory, and caution follows.
However, there are often checks for other destinations, aside from just interpretations. Assuming that all destinations in the brain have shapes. This means that the memory of the chair is a destination and has a [configuration-based] shape that makes it result in that interpretation. Therefore, will the shape of anger or hurt be the same as the shape of a chair?
So, it is possible to postulate that emotions have angular displacements. Simply, the reason emotions are daunting is that their shape [based on their configurations] is angular, so transmissions around them are in curvature, making experiences pleasant or otherwise. It is this power that makes emotions strong, conceptually, at least.
Configurations are theorized as the formation or the assembly of electrical and chemical signals, in sets, in clusters of neurons, across the central and peripheral nervous systems. This means that there is, most times, a specific configuration for every memory, feeling, emotion, and for the regulation of internal signals.
Though there are collections of configurations, especially where similarities exist, and those collections can be used for interpretation. However, sets that hold configurations come to be shaped in some form that makes experiences different.
The emotion for love could be shaped like a line that is curved at the top, while that for hate could have detours in the middle, or at the entry. The emotions for affection could have circles and so forth. Simply, the fits that configurations are or match are sometimes in different shapes, with those for emotions far more curved than those of memory, conceptually.
Emotions and feelings are similar to angular displacement. While memory and regulation of internal senses have similar [say, near linear] shapes because they are for basic or direct interpretation.
Regulation, for example, gives the limits and extents of bodily functions, so interoceptive inputs and outputs are within a range, for say, respiration, circulation, and so forth. Just direct, there is little necessity for many curves [at configuration].
How to Solve the Emotional Grip of Domestic Violence
There are several relationship tips that include marrying someone who would be willing to listen to you and adhere and whom you would be willing to listen to and adhere to. And to remember to de-escalate if tensions are excessive.
However, sometimes things start well for some partners and end badly. So, solving the emotional anchor of domestic violence may have to involve conceptual brain science, at least to show the structure of emotions, and their likelihood for further relay into violence.
Simply, in some cases, after emotions follow interpretations, action may follow those emotions, depending on the intensity [of electrical signals in the set] or volume [of chemical signals in the set].
Now, domestic violence may be this action. For victims, the first thing will be to start to gauge their emotional states of themselves and those of the oppressor. This means that, on average, in relationships, love and affection may not be at equal depths between partners. So, when there is an issue, the same thing applies, with respect to adherence and harm.
Now, to extricate from a bad situation, the first thing is to know that as soon as a partner gets violent, there have to be ways to interpret the individual’s interpretation of the individual’s love or affection area.
This means that in the heat of the moment, this may not be the case, but it will be useful to find a new way to prospect that as the change applies, even as the mind takes time to adapt to changes, it will be important to make dedicated efforts to divert away from love, to avoid feedbacks that may allow an easy, or careless return towards getting back, just by the emotional lead of a prior reality.
This may also work for some men, where, even if they are close to perpetrating domestic violence, they can realize that it may become a point of no return.
Solving Domestic Violence
A path is to show what emotions are in the mind. Then, watch out for the emotion that may lead to domestic violence. There may also be a need to watch out for the recall of emotions that might make it necessary to go back to the individual.
Solving domestic violence can anchor as well on emotional architecture, at least conceptually, ensuring that balance is sought, in some form, against horrible outcomes.
This will also be necessary against all forms of domestic violence, as well as provide answers against likely cases even before they simmer. This could become a dominant way to make emotional knowledge general in some ways, so that awareness is spread against risks that may result from the current opacity of the emotional makeup of the mind.
There is a recent story on WUSA9, Why Maryland wants your barber to spot the signs of domestic violence, stating that, “A new year brings a fresh slate of laws for Marylanders. While the bulk of legislation from the 2025 General Assembly session took effect last summer or fall, a select group of impactful changes officially launches on January 1, 2026.”
“From the barber’s chair to the driver’s seat, here is a look at the major shifts arriving this New Year’s Day.”
“The reasoning is rooted in the ‘chair-side manner’ many professionals develop. Stylists often engage in deeply personal conversations, and this new training will teach them how to: Recognize the physical and verbal signs of abuse. Navigate sensitive conversations with potential victims. Safely connect clients to local resources and support groups.”
Domestic Abuse Help Resources
It is important to remember that you shouldn’t judge a person until you have walked a mile in their shoes. You have no idea what they are struggling with, the crippling fear and even pain that they live in, as well as the limited resources they may have.
If you are a woman looking for help on how to leave an abusive relationship, you can contact the Office on Women’s Health.
The Women Against Abuse organization has a Safe at Home Program.
Domestic violence can happen to anyone. If you are in an abusive relationship, there are people who want to help.
Help is available by calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. You can also text BEGIN to 88788.
Additionally, you can also contact the Crisis Text Line by texting CONNECT to 741741.
Domestic violence often goes unreported until it is too late. You are not alone. Help is there. At the time, it may seem hard, but sometimes the best thing you can do is call 911.
This article was written for WHN by David Stephen, who currently does research in conceptual brain science with a focus on the electrical and chemical signals for how they mechanize the human mind, with implications for mental health, disorders, neurotechnology, consciousness, learning, artificial intelligence, and nurture. He was a visiting scholar in medical entomology at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, IL. He did computer vision research at Rovira i Virgili University, Tarragona.
As with anything you read on the internet, this article should not be construed as medical advice; please talk to your doctor or primary care provider before changing your wellness routine. WHN neither agrees nor disagrees with any of the materials posted. This article is not intended to provide a medical diagnosis, recommendation, treatment, or endorsement.
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